Cherry House = Neighborhood Crime Watch

Once again, the neighbors give me no choice but to blog about their obnoxious behavior.

Ok, so here at the Cherry House, we are basically the only neighborhood crime watch house for our entire neighborhood (and all surrounding neighborhoods, since we are the only ones who give a care). We don't really do it out of duty, but because we are greedy whores for all juicy news, scandal and seduction happenings around the area.

Thanks to our white trash neighbors, two nights ago, our appetites for all sorts of news was fed and full as we heard 100% pure drama running down the street at 1:30 in the am screaming bloody murder. All the sudden, Monster Truck across the street peels out of their driveway and chases after the screaming fool.

Naturally, three out of the four of us gathered together in the dark of our house to discuss the juicy details of this crime. To give you an idea how seriously we take neighborhood crime theatrics, let's just say Agatha Christie (see below) ain't got nothin' on us!

 We are pretty much pros when it comes to accurately assuming and matching all sorts of crime detail to the appropriate neighbor. We are not judging, just laying the correct evidence next to each neighbor. 

 

So, when the truck tore off after the tortured, screaming soul and shortly returned back to the house, it was safe to assume that the Driver caught up with Screamer and ran over him/her. After flinging The Body into the truck, Driver came back to the house to transport The Body into the trunk of a less conspicuous car to then take and dump in the lake. 

Just to explain the magnitude of how seriously we take our crime watch, we went out on our porch at 1:30 in the am to get a better look/sound. We risked life, limb and female virtue to get a better look at the action when there were criminals (see below) running around willy nilly! But if we hadn't done that, then the crime wouldn't have been solved now, would it? We know the murderers of the body that was found at the bottom of the lake. Yes, they are our neighbors! 

Yes, in the dark living room of our house we solved this crime and came up a plan to prevent the Bad Guys from sticking our bodies in their trunks. So don't worry about us, faithful readers! We have a foolproof escape plan that includes giant gardening sheers and a getaway car. 

Love love, 

Jenna